MUYENGA MANSION

Lawino: Tell us about Muyenga Mansion?

Linda:

With Muyenga Mansion, I wanted to tell the story of a sugar daddy wooing a young girl. In our society, it is generally perceived that sugar daddies give the virus to women. This is wrong, and I think this stereotype comes from the message in most anti-Aids campaigns. In this poem, I dwelt on the most common way of infection, and that is through unprotected sex. I called it Muyenga Mansion because I did not want people to immediately associate the poem with HIV and AIDS, but rather to wonder about the connection between a mansion and the disease.

Lawino: Finally, give a short introduction of yourself. Tell us about your personal life, your professional life, your achievements, anything you want your fans to know.

Linda: I hail from Kyamate Ntungamo in Western Uganda.  I went to Ndejje University where I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. I am the Business Development Manager at Feed a Million Mouths Uganda, a social enterprise that specializes in nutritional products for HIV Centers, Orphanages, and hospices. I’m a member of Rotary Kampala International and the National Youth Working Group supported by UNICEF

I’m a poet, singer, songwriter, and a short story writer. I use the stage name NADA. I have performed my poetry in many festivals, including the Umoja International Cultural Camp, the Nuvo Arts Festival, the Bayimba’s International Music and Arts Festival. I have also performed at many international workshops and exhibitions, and performed for the anti-tobacco advocacy campaign event hosted in the Parliament of Uganda. I have been on stage in collaboration with the Uganda National Contemporary Ballet (UNCB). To hone my storytelling craft, I have received training in Bayimba’s two week creative writing workshop chaired by Deborah Asiimwe, a BBC award winning playwright, and the Writivisim Writing Competition by CACE where I was mentored by Mr Richard Ugbede Ali, Nigerian Editor in Chief of the literary magazine, Sentinel Nigeria. As a musician, I recorded an album in November 2013 with Herbert Kinobe the world ambassador for Harmony Foundation of Canada. The album advocates for environmental protection, mental peace, and living a life of fulfillment. It was made possible with the help of Mrs. Anne Emmons in Hawaii, USA.

MUYENGA MANSION

(SUGAR DADDY)

The part that I love the most on you baby girl, are your buttocks

Cause nothing shapes a woman more than her buttocks

Not bottom, bottom………… limits my imagination

For am a man of description

You go call me whatever you want

Obsessed, possessed but baby girl

Am obsessed about you

For your like tequila and sex on the beach cocktails down my esophagus

You see, you’re a true representation

Of trending fashion

That’s my perception

From now on, if you want to attend any occasion

Am VIP you will not need to queue at the reception

Am willing to fulfill your every expectation

Do you want further education?

Do you want a birthday celebration?

Now that is my total dedication

You see am a banker by designation

I also host a political show on nation television

Am willing to fulfill your every expectation

But on only one condition

Come……….. Come………………

I want to take you to my Muyenga mansion

Where you will lay back on my expensive Dubai cushion

And show me that dimension

That dimension that go make me have a hard erection

An erection that go opt for a straight penetration

Interruption?

You do not have to worry about any interruption

My wife says in the Na-guru Mansion

Prevention?

You do not have to worry about any Prevention

I passed through circumcision, am VIP I get HIV/AIDS immunization

Now why are you still worried?

Are you in your menstruation?

OH its conception

You’re worried about conception,

But I thought you’re on an injection

Even though you’re not on an injection

We shall not have pregnancy prevention

In case of conception

You will become my wife to stay in this Muyenga mansion

But you see, I don’t want your concentration to be on the dangers of

fornication

I don’t want you to think that sleeping with a married man is an

abomination

I need sexual satisfaction……………………………………

I don’t want you to lay like a log

Like firewood in transportation

I need sexual participation

If you fulfill my one condition

I may even take take you to Mombasa for a vacation

In short,

In brief,

In conclusion,

Come……… come……..

I want to take you to a private place

Where you go show me your private parts and I go give you money

(And the next moiring it was my turn to talk)

(pretty lady)

Did you enjoy?

Did you enjoy my spectacular curves?

Did you enjoy my HIV positive flesh?

Ah aha ha big daddy, do not worry

The positiveness is mostly in the blood

My flesh is negative

Ah aha aha ARV’s are free; I get them free from the hospital

What! What! What are you complaining about?

Do you think you will be the first one to have HIV?

Or do you think you will the last?

My dear, every day a stupid woman and man like you

Forget about all the advice they have gotten about HIV

They forget about ABC they opt for IGL……. I GO LIVE

Now why are you blaming?

While in club silk, were you drunk, yes!

While in your automobile, did you talk about an HIV test, NO!

While you were driving, didn’t you pass by a billboard saying get off

the sexual network, you did

And while you continued to drive, did you pass by Oasis to buy

condoms

Or did we buy them from Nakumatt?

We did not buy condoms

So why are you blaming me

Even when I gave you my rough rider, my rubber,

You threw it back to me and said

‘’Give that rubber to Rabadaba

For me I go live

I do it live

As live as an Umeme wire’’

So why are you haywire?

Next time do not let your eyes do the work of a microscope,

Do not look at some body and conclude they are HIV negative

You will be in for a disappointment

Next time, use a condom

Or even you should be faithful to your wife

I will not advise you to abstain

I wouldn’t want your wife to complain

You took me to a private place

And I showed you my private parts

And I did not only stop at showing you

You know what we did

So give me my moneyooooooooooooo

I want to goo…………………………..

(Muyenga mansion is a narrative poem written and performed by me. My first book of poetry NIPPLES, DIMPLES and PIMPLES will soon be
out.

Using laughter to still pass on the message

THESE WOMEN

I wanna talk to women. Women of all sizes, skin colours Weave types: synthetic, human hair I don’t care. I wanna talk to all women. Black, white, in-between….. Those with fanta faces and coca cola legs I don’t care. I wanna talk to women Those that rock the cat walk? Bed room, Lecture room, Executive board room, Those I care. In each and everything we do, a man is a man.


EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM WOMAN

You may be the boss in the office but at home, he is the head. You many earn much more money but at home he is the head. You may be addressed as, Yes madam, yes madam, am sorry madam….. Right aware madam, But don’t expect the same from your man at home. His way past that for he takes a place in your heart no subordinate, colleague will ever take, And each day he goes deeper and deeper.


MONEY LOVER CHIC

Now you money   lover chic / freak. Gal you can jump….you jump from one man to another, You do it with a lot of skills it kills. Why do you jump? Is money really the bother? You have a child, who doesn’t have a father, But how can you know the father, When you jump from one man to another. Gal……………………………. Money comes and money goes Unless if your dating Bill Gates But these Kampala men that like to bet Whatever money they get they bet Gal…………………………………………. Put it in your thick skull that today he has, tomorrow he does not And maybe the next day he will if God so wills. Get off your high horse, Taking you out buying you a Samsung shouldn’t be by force. And this business of men coming in and out, In and out of your Muzigo,Just cause the previous one failed to buy you a clear essence kizigo, That is so not cool gal…………………. These men keep on saying that you are a fool. And that is so not cool.


SIDE DISH/TODAY IS MY DAY TO BE WITH YOU SORT OF CHICK

Now you side dish/today is my day to be with me sort of chic.. Now another girl may know that you are seeing her man and she may choose to do nothing about it. In fact she may know that her man meets you in peculiar places at peculiar times doing peculiar things but she may still choose to do nothing about it. Why………….. Munanage God said we share…….. Girl…………………………………………………….. Am a B*****h with a capital B If my man is a table and I mean a mahogany table, And I a dish and I mean a dish from the UK, I ought to be the only dish on that table, These side dishes from bwaise, kalerwe, kikubo , Any dish that is not me, I don’t need it on my table, These side dishes of cabbage, kachubali , Don’t put on my table, These side dishes that are put just in-case the main dish is not enough Now why wouldn’t I be enough? Do I look like someone that can be enough? Gal………… Amma tell you a secret…. He can’t handle me, his always like ‘’ time out… no no time out no …no waaaba too much’’. But if you still feel confident Walking with your high heels in my relationship territory I will starch your face you go not like it when am done Gal………………… Get off the sexual network Go get your man


Single lady/Single lady/ SINGLE X5/5 YEARS

Now you single/desperate girl I look at the list of all the qualities you’re looking for in a man and I feel sorry for you Unless if your waiting for a man from mars, Venus But these Kampala men won’t go past number three But girl………… you are so judgemental Just because his wearing flats and not moccasins So you won’t give him your number, eh? And by the way, flats from BATA that are on discount That is good enough at least his not bear footed. Like we women we like to say that we are not our hair Some men like to say that they are not what they wear He may look lousy but he will give you a lot of love You will feel like your that dove That flew out of Noah’s ark. But that ain’t gonna happen if you’re so judgemental You see all the men around you as being beneath you Not worthy of you, underneath you So you keep on climbing the ladder looking for a man with higher standards like Jesus Christ. Leaving all the men down the ladder Looking up at you as you go Climbing to higher heights than the MAPEERA So they ask…………… ‘’Where the hell are you going? We are all down here? What did you say? Sorry we can’t hear you you’re up the ladder so high? Okkk when ready to come down just holla.’’ On one hand you have all the qualities you’re looking for in a man laid on your finger tips but on the other hand I want you to ask yourself what are the qualities that am looking for that I actually have Because you may have such low standards that even when I bend over I can’t get lower to your standards… Gal………..you have been so single for a long time You have gotten such a bad attitude You need to get laid. Girls, Girlfriends, women, ladies, wives, facebook haters, twitter lovers, instagram addicts, Bitches whatever…………………. I ain’t saying that we should be perfect All am saying is that we should strive to be the best women we can be. Our father in heaven expects the best from us He knows that we have the capacity, capability, ability to be the best. When he says yes no fool can say no. So if you’re striving to be the best at your job, business, executive boardroom Strive as well to be the best wife you can be to your husband Strive as well to be the best mother you can be to your children The best sister to your siblings The best daughter to your parents The best child to your father in heaven If you’re a waitress then strive to be the best waitress you can be If you’re a model then strive to be the best model that you can be Though keep in mind that your body is the temple of the lord Not the temple of some men that see you as flesh When you go with them you will come crumbling down like Babylon Tumbling down like Jack and Jill Down the hill in heels. If you’re a house wife then strive to be the best house wife you can be. Staying home doesn’t mean that you should put your best clothes, shoes, makeup in the darkest corner Why……………….. Ebyo byabamla ngan genda out Your man comes back home and he just looks at you and looks the other side. Look good, Look good while doing the dishes look good Look good while his around and even when his not around Cause I see your man, his full of excuses His walking closer to the sexual network while murmuring that he doesn’t like the way you’re looking Gal……………………….. get your man off the sexual network. Look gooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooood…………….. Women Take Five If you are a man and you know that your wife is as hot as hell When you ring that bell she gives you this amazing yell You know that she would go north and south for you East and west for you But you treat her like shit With her you are so valagant But with bu campuses you are so extravagant I just have one word for you You are on an A-HOLE And I don’t know why she’d keep giving you her P-hole Cause if she were me, you wouldn’t even see my Mouth hole WAAMA Girls, girlfriends, women, ladies, wives, facebook haters, twitter lovers, bitches …WHATEVER………. I ain’t saying that we should be perfect All am saying is let’s strive to be the best women that we can be Let’s be role models, mentors, speakers, friends and most importantly lovers of CHRIST.

MY HUSBAND

I shiver when the night falls. For sleep I will not have in my bed. Mama, you never told me marriage was like this, For my husband is another in the night. No… His not a night dancer. He doesn’t even … Continue reading